Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Oh Yeah, I Forgot

Really interesting article on memory training and the human brain over on Wired. My favorite quote:

We master the stories, the schemas, the frameworks, the paradigms; we rehearse the lingo; we swim in the episteme.
..."Swim in the epicene"? Awesome.

The Time For Questions Is Over. Now Is The Time For Unbridled Optimism

Son (aged 4) lost his first tooth yesterday (I'm so proud)! So last night we sent the tooth fairy an email together, and wrote a little note and stuck it to his door.

And in the morning was a shiny new dollar, and a thank-you letter from the tooth fairy, extolling the virtues of flossing, and encouraging continued good will toward members of the professional order of dental hygienists.

But what stuck with me after that was how we (Son and I) had started the day talking about how he's a "Big Boy" now, and the tooth fairy was going to bring him a dollar for his tooth, to celebrate, and somehow this devolved into a discussion about How Can We Extort More Money From The Tooth Fairy? Son wanted a minimum of fifteen dollars, and a toy to be named later. I tried to explain to him that baby teeth were a commoditized good, that it was a buyer's market at the moment, and that enamel futures were rated "underperform". My protestations fell on deaf ears, as they always do, and we lay down for bed-time with visions of avarice dancing in his big blue eyes.

To distract him from his inevitable disappointment (The tooth fairy has bills to pay, after all), we spoke instead of What Does The Tooth Fairy Want With All These Teeth, Anyway? Son and I came up with the following:

- Use them to build a house (a gruesome image of a castle made from drawn teeth briefly assailed me, but I pressed on)
- She grinds them up and uses them to fertilize her garden (or the Amazon Rain Forest)
- She grinds them up to make snow.
- She puts them in a machine (the purpose of this diabolical engine is, as yet, unknown)
- She eats them. ("She eats teeth?" I asked. "Yes, they're good for your bones!" explained Son. This is logic I cannot refute).
- She makes affordable and unique costume jewelery, which she sells on a blanket at the park on Sundays.
- She plays dice with them.
- She is building a Doomsday device, powered by teeth.

Wife chimed in with:
- She plants them in new babies' mouths, to make new teeth. It's like recycling!

Here we face the thrilling diversity of human experience. It's obvious that Wife and I have a very different thought process (hers tends more toward the sunny, happy, "Whole Foods" approach, mine is a little more macabre). I wonder which path the boy will choose?

We are abjured, nay, forbidden to refer to him as "my baby", "my little boy", or any such term of endearment containing the words "little" or "small". Having lost his first tooth, he is now officially a "Big Boy", so of course he wants beer. To be clear, I rarely, if ever, have beer in the house. It's just a habit I never got into, so I'm not sure how he made up his mind that beer = grown-up, but there it is.

Other Cute Things The Boy Has Done Recently:

- The other day we were wrestling, and he wanted to eat a cookie. "You can eat a cookie if you can get out from under me," I said, pinning him for a three-count. He squirmed and kicked, and rather than fight me off with brute force, somehow squicked out the side and slipped out from under me all sneaky-like. "You're Sneaky!" I exclaimed. He giggled and struck a kung-fu pose: "Sneaky like a NINJA!".

- Wife came back from grocery chopping with a pair of sunglasses for the Boy, as well as two dollar-store water pistols. First he grabs the pistols and yells "FREEZE, Sucka!", then puts on the sunglasses, snaps his fingers and points at us: "looking good, ladies."

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Short Round

Here's another nibble: Pulp Fiction, as written by William Shakespeare.

Friday, April 18, 2008


Stephen Fry has a freakin' BLOG.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Schrodinger's Blog

The annoying thing about a personal blog... okay, let me start over.

One of the many irritations about a personal blog is that you don't really know who you're writing for (besides yourself, I mean). I can't start writing like everyone on the internet's going to read this crap. Nor can I assume that no one will read it. It is weirdly, simultaneously private and public, riding a strange uncollapsible waveform of awesome philosophy (philawesomey?)

Here are a couple of things, to help you whittle away the time in whichever eigenstate you will eventually observe.

The Page 69 Test: So it may be true that you can't judge a book by it's cover, but I have recently been of the opinion that neither can you judge one by its contents. Marshall McLuhan suggested that you should choose your reading by turning to page 69 of a book and, if you like it, read the entire book. The Page 69 Test blog is evaluating McLuhan's suggestion book by book.

Here's one for the cat people (turn your speakers up).

Dorkiest pickup line (feel free to use): "CERN's gonna turn on the Large Hadron Collider soon, and this whole planet's going poof. This could be our last night together."

That's it. That's all I got. Actually, there is so much more, but it is all either very private, or else very public, and thus not suitable for print.